Monday, November 26, 2012

Signs and portents; giving up and moving on…

Dear readers, do you believe in signs? Are there portents in your life, indicators pointing the way? Do you see faces in the clouds which direct your feet to the destiny of your dreams?

I have been on the phone all morning, trying to make a counseling appointment at my community college. This phone call has been coming for three long, stressful, nerve wracking years. I have been putting it off for far too long, I’ve let my fingers be distracted by laundry, and holiday baking and gift making, long golden summer days and cold short winter afternoons. Now is the time to get back on the horse, to get this thing done and life back on its track! But the operators do not care to listen, and I am forced to wait. and listen to horrible elevator music.

It’s scary, trying something new. The idea sounds good, in the comfort of home. Dreams grow big and round and golden in the warmth of family and ideals, but take it outside in the wind and the rain and the cold indifference of society makes it seem small and insignificant. It’s easy to “get on with life”, and go back to the routine of the familiar path. New ideas, untried and unstable, get hidden by have-to’s and schedules and shopping lists and chores. Dinner has to be made, and the groceries shopped for, and birthdays are coming up! It’s almost too easy to be swayed from the impossible, the maybe, the what-ifs…

1 comment:

  1. I know the feeling. Man, do I know the feeling. I hope the phone call ended up going well.

    And wow, this just beautifully expresses how I've been feeling lately. It's on.

    But dreams are very good, and I hope yours are going well.